Creating Moments of Kindness At New Student Orientation

Moments of Kindness
Ryan Pugliese’s middle school experience was a collection of negative moments, leaving him ostracized with barely anyone he could call a friend. Being diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at age 2 didn’t help, as it made it difficult for him to establish relationships like people normally do. Needless to say, when he graduated from 8th grade, he was ready to leave his old self and life behind. For Ryan, starting high school was a chance for a fresh start and a chance for him to create a better experience than he did in middle school. Like millions of students each year, Ryan was excited to write a new chapter in his life.

Ryan started his first day of High school with a big smile and open heart. As the day went on, however, every attempt to make new friends fell short and Ryan quickly found himself re-living the drudgery of middle school all over again. In his own words,

All my attempts to make friends had failed, and I had actually been called several rather offensive names in the process. By the time lunch came around, I was feeling miserable and as if the world didn’t give a damn about me.

Left crying in the corner of the lunchroom, Ryan was all alone until two classmates, Kevin and Samir, walked over to Ryan and introduced themselves. The trio quickly got to laughing, and Ryan’s spirits shifted almost instantly. Again from Ryan,

At the end of the day, I felt as though their selfless moment of kindness really started me down a better path in my life.

Ryan is now a student at Rutgers University and fully involved on campus as a student leader. He credits Kevin and Samir’s moment of kindness as a turning point in his life. He even told me,

Kevin and Samir are absolutely going to be the best men at my wedding.

Ryan is one example of what millions of students go through each year as they transition from one school to another, hoping for a clean slate and fresh start. Some easily make the transition and quickly fall into a social circle in which they feel welcomed, connected and engaged. Others, like Ryan, despite the greatest of intentions, don’t instantly connect and risk being a part of the 30% of students who drop out or transfer within their first year of school. 

For those in charge of orientation and students trained as orientation leaders, look for the “Ryans” in your groups. Look for the students who are standing at the edge of your dance floor near the exit. Then, use your resources to create a random moment of kindness for that student. Create a moment for that student to, for once, finally feel like this is a place they belong. A thousand talking heads on stage won’t replace one smiling face saying hi.

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