Crossing your lovely campus, you run into a student so introverted that your extrovert mind says “Why does he even come to our club meetings when he seems so…uninterested…” But you push this [biased] thought aside, put on your best smile and say “Hey, Dan! What’s up?” After a brief mumbled response from him, you mention that the club is getting together later to put together some decorations for your next big event.
Can you come to the decorations meeting later, to get ready for the play? 4pm at the freshman res hall. Please please please, I could really use your help!
He says “yeah, maybe,” and you walk away, not banking on his appearance. I probably scared him, you think, I am a little overwhelming to talk to.
At 4, you make your way to the meeting, and to your delight and surprise, there he is, sitting with headphones in, waiting for instruction. An hour later, you and the rest of the club are staring in amazement at the beautifully painted backdrop he created while the rest of you had worked and chattered. At the event the next week, he internally beams with pride at his masterpiece on stage for all to see.
In Dance Floor Theory, we talk about meeting people where they are on the dance floor, instead of trying to drag them straight to the center. The “you” in this story knew not to ask him to dance, sing, or even talk much for the event. But simply asking him to show up do help with something a little less scary, and letting him know that his presence and engagement are valued- that’s your X+1 moment. He went from sitting at the back of the meetings to participating in a way he was comfortable, and engaging through his artwork. And if you hadn’t asked, you’d never know his hidden talent at all!
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find those students who are hard to reach, and ask them to help in ways they can imagine themselves doing with just a teeny little push.
They might say yes to…
- Helping you hang flyers
- sharing their input on the poster you are designing
- standing in for someone who couldn’t make rehearsal
- acting as an extra with no lines on stage
After the play, another member of the club jumps off the stage and taps Dan on the shoulder.
Dude, that backdrop was AWESOME. Thanks so much for painting it, it really made the play special.
Can you say new friend? 🙂
