Let’s be honest: 1-on-1 meetings can feel a bit awkward. Sitting across from someone who has been tasked with reviewing your performance is intimidating. If you’re anything like me, you’re working yourself up by imagining worst-case scenarios in the moments before the meeting begins. What if your boss thinks you’re slacking? Or you completely bombed a task you thought you nailed? What if a meteor crashed into the side of your building yesterday, and you’re suddenly jobless? The negative possibilities are endless.
Although none of the possibilities above will probably manifest themselves, 1-on-1 meetings can still be nerve-wracking. Luckily, though, I don’t just have ideas for making normal meetings more fun. I’m also full of good ideas for the (potentially dreaded) 1-on-1. Read on to make the most of these more intimate conversations, whether you’re the facilitator or a participant.
Proper preparation prevents poor performance
If you’re part of a team, it is highly likely you’ll be meeting 1-on-1 with a boss or a teammate at some point. We all must breathe and accept this anxiety-inducing reality. Prep for these meetings in advance by keeping track of your completed tasks and your progress. If you’re a team leader, make sure you’re observing your members and all the work they’re accomplishing. This could take the form of keeping a journal or regularly tracking completed tasks in the Notepad on your phone–whatever works best for you! Actually having topics to talk about at meetings always makes 1-on-1’s go smoother.
Avoid awkward-ness by building relationships prior to formal meetings
The first time you learn how to pronounce someone’s name shouldn’t be when you’re sitting across from them to address their performance. Likewise, the first time you shake hands with (or hug–Swift Kick loves hugging!) your boss shouldn’t be right before they’re about to review your progress with their company. Always give your team chances to bond with you as well as each other. If you’re new to a team, Feed Your Butterflies by introducing yourself to the people working alongside you. Conversations that happen in 1-on-1 meetings will feel easier when you aren’t struggling to make a good first impression.
Make 1-on-1 meetings fresh and fun
Sick of sitting behind a desk under fluorescent lighting? Pick a new location to hold your meetings, like a pub or a picnic table outside. Make sure both parties are not only okay with the meeting place, but that they’re absolutely pumped to meet there. Food is a great way to build community, so don’t shy on the snacks. Keep your conversations low-key by picking a setting where all eyes won’t be on you and your partner. Music can enliven meeting times, but pay attention to volume. Ensure the tunes of your meeting place of choice aren’t the same decibel level as the last concert you went to before attempting to hold a private conversation there.
Be consistent
Nothing is scarier than going into an experience completely unaware of what’s about to happen. While some people love the adrenaline rush, others would prefer to get their hearts racing by skydiving or jumping off cliffs rather than by anticipating the unknown of a 1-on-1 meeting. Ease the minds of your 1-on-1 partners by giving them a general overview of what’s going to happen before it actually happens. Do this by prepping an agenda, explaining your expectations in person, or simply by sending an email before the meeting begins. Keep your teammates calm by staying true to your original course of action every time you meet.
Give people opportunities to stop old projects or start new ones
One section of Swift Kick 1-on-1’s involves giving the chance to stop working on tasks they’re currently assigned or to seek new ways of showing off their abilities. For instance, in the Start/Stop section of my regular 1-on-1 meetings with the lovely Sabina, I would feel comfortable asking to slow down on my task load if I felt overwhelmed. On the other hand, if I didn’t feel challenged, I could ask Sabina to throw down some stuff for me to do that would make her life easier and my life more interesting.
Giving your teammates these chances to meet them where they’re at can be game-changing. You might find out someone on your team is more capable than you originally gave them credit for. And it’s a win-win if more work gets done and people feel more valuable. You might also find out that you’re working someone too hard (or on a task that is pointless). This insight can lead to empathy on your part and gratefulness on theirs.
Keep your door, your heart, and your mind open
Last, but certainly not least, it’s important to remember to be open-minded while meeting 1-on-1 with others. Nobody is asking you to keep your schedule completely free at all hours of the day for whatever rants your teammates might need to get off their chests during the week. However, I know that my life has definitely been changed for the better by advisors, bosses, and leaders who have managed to find 5 minutes to let me be a messy human in their presence.
It’s impossible to do anything in life without carrying in some kind of baggage from the past. Don’t enforce a don’t-talk-about-the-bad-stuff policy among your teammates. Rather, encourage them to open up (if they feel comfortable) about whatever experiences they’ve gone through or are currently going through. It’s amazing how much a community can grow when you know that what makes you feel sub-par can also be silently affecting the people around you.
This is not about giving advice or being someone’s unpaid therapist. Rather, it’s about showing support simply by being present. Notice someone on your team is being more quiet than their usual bubbly self? Ask them what’s up. Don’t press if they don’t burst open at the seams with their full life story immediately. But let them know your Open Doors, Open Hearts philosophy is always at play.
Have a 1-on-1 meeting coming up? Use these tips to help it feel less like a doctor’s appointment and more like a revitalizing and encouraging experience. Do you have any other methods you use to make your 1-on-1’s less scary?
