As an extrovert, it’s been hard for me to understand an introvert’s perspective my entire life… until recently. I always thought, “Why are you so quiet? Stop being a party pooper! If you like spending time with yourself more than with me or others people… you’re just strange!” However, since I’ve made friends with several introverts on my campus, I have been able to see it through their eyes and understand introverts much better.
This is what I’ve learned: Introverts are not always shy, and extroverts are not always outgoing. Yeah, that’s right, I said it. Look at it this way — if we are cooking a pot of rice and a separate pot of noodles, which food can stay in the boiling water for a long time? Which one has to be taken out quickly before it turns to mush? For all of my cooking experts, you are correct, the noodles have to be taken out before they turn into mush. Thus, extroverts are grains of rice, and introverts are noodles. Now before you get offended by being called a noodle or grain of rice, let me explain. Just as rice absorbs water and the energy around it while cooking, an extrovert absorbs social energy and can work best with what’s around them. On the other hand, if our introverts absorb too much energy from those around them, they will not be at their best (a.k.a., very mushy.)
As a campus leader, you want to see the students around you at their personal best. How can you raise the tide for your
campus organization by facilitating successful moments for the introverts in your group? If you are the extroverted student leader like me, here are some tips on how to keep the introverts in your group engaged and at their best.
- Emphasize your connection: Introverts are very social people, however they work a lot better when they are in one-on-one conversations. Make time to connect with them over coffee or tea once a week, but don’t expect them to come to your organization’s social event with loud noises and many people. Set up a meeting to talk, and when you meet, make sure you are talking about them!
- Create room to breathe, and articulate why: Often times, introverts need time and space to recharge and be their best self. In your weekly meetings, let your team know that you understand it may be a stressful time right now with classes, and extracurricular involvement. Allow them to take a few minutes to sit with their eyes closed and listen to some instrumental music at the beginning of the meeting. The introverts in your group will appreciate this time and space that you are giving them, and will be so much more productive and willing to share ideas.
- Minimize surprises: Surprises can be fantastic! However, if there is a surprise which involves a social activity, give the group a heads-up. In your organization’s meetings, set the expectations for that upcoming day. Give a schedule for the meeting that includes topics, social times, and break times (don’t forget the break times.)
These tips will leave with you a nice bowl of noodles, vs. an overcooked, mushy one. Moreover, they will help you build a community where extroverts, introverts, and everyone in between, feel welcomed, connected, and engaged 🙂
(Credit for content ideas: Marfo, Amma. “Light Up Your Introverted Student Leaders.” LEAD365 November 7th, 2015, Orlando, FL .)
