This post is edited from an awesome newsletter by Sinclair Ceasar, a good friend of ours. He gave us permission to share!
Lately, I’ve been asked a seemingly rhetorical question by different people at different times. While the empowered and daring me doesn’t feel like I need to qualify my actions and beliefs, the teacher and storyteller in me feels compelled to set some things straight.
The question: Sinclair, why are you so d— positive all of the time?
The curt, defensive response (in my head): Why are you so D— negative?
The brief, kinder, and informative answer: I do things to inspire others, because I often and desperately need to encourage myself. It’s been a rough road.
I wasn’t always this uplifting and encouraging. I’ve experienced depression many times in my life, have struggled with low-self esteem and body image issues, and I work my butt off every single day to manage my anxiety and PTSD. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that being positive is a choice. I am thankful for every moment I choose to be hopeful rather than hopeless, because hopelessness is often the easiest option. I am thankful to be able to take it an extra step further through social media, email, and letter writing. I know someone out there needs to be inspired. I’m just wanting to do my part, even if it seems silly, counter-cultural, or completely against the grain.
A few years ago, I became that random person holding the FREE HUG sign on a city street.
I was on my way to New York City to visit friends and family. I had since moved across the country and couldn’t wait to reconnect with loved ones. As the plane was about to land, a woman sitting across from me asked me about what I was looking forward to doing during my visit. I told her that I was planning to hold a free hug sign on a busy New York street. She shouted:“What?!? That will never work. No one is going to hug you. It’s New York!”
I was taken aback. I wish I could say I responded with something clever, but I just put my head down and replied, “Well, it worked in Portland.” She wasn’t convinced. The plane landed and I never saw her again. Time passed and I found a place next to a guy making handmade knit hats, and a small group of people passionately protesting about government conspiracy theories. People walked by, and most didn’t make eye-contact. Looking back on the situation, I was just nervous and was stuck playing into the story the woman on the plane shared.
That will never work. No one is going to hug you.
Then it happened, someone ran across the street, and practically jumped into my arms. Another person gave me a huge bear hug. This continued for the next 2 hours, and I received around 45 hugs from complete strangers. Part of me did it because I wanted to connect with others. Part of me did it because of that one person in Portland who whispered after hugging me:
“I really really needed that, man.”
What about you? What questions do you get from others when you’re living your best life? Perhaps, you travel alone and people ask if you encounter lots of dangerous situations. Maybe you stand for various forms of social justice, and friends express how they feel unsettled by your beliefs and choices. Have you had this happen lately? What reasons did you give? Did you remain silent?
Look out for #FreeHugs16 day in November with Swift Kick!
