As I opened the passenger door to the Uber, the first thing I heard was, “Hi Melissa!” To be completely honest, I was tired and really looking forward to a quiet, awkward silence type of drive home. Not this time. The two women, Lisa and Karen, in the backseat of this very fancy, black Mercedes SUV were lifelong friends; one lives Nebraska, the other, in Texas. They were meeting up with another friend, who was in NY for business, for a girls vacation. I can’t be mad at that!
We had the usual small talk and I asked what they were going to do while they visited. They had no idea. No plans, except for tickets to see Wicked. Now, being who I am, I started to rattle off a whole list of things they should do: The High Line, The Intrepid Museum, walk the Brooklyn Bridge, Times Square late at night, Central Park, rooftop restaurants, Bryant Park… At one point, Lisa took out her phone to start taking notes. As someone who lives in New York City, it was great to list off things that are great to see and do, but haven’t necessarily experienced for myself. Or, the last time I did, it was a for a field trip in elementary school.
By the time we arrived at my place, they had a list of things to do and my phone number. We texted back and forth during their stay, and while we couldn’t figure out a time to meet up again, they sent me pictures from a Knicks game and getting photobombed in Times Square.
This could have very well been a silent ride home. These ladies had so much energy and excitement for their trip, it was hard to ignore them, plug in my headphones and happily anticipate my bed for a nap. But being present in the moment for that car ride had much bigger benefits. I arrived home excited and energized, didn’t need the nap and enjoyed the rest of that sunny day outside.
Connections with other people can pop up anywhere. Sometimes, all it takes is being present, open and aware of the moment to meet someone new. Here are some ways to open yourself up to expand your community:
Take out your headphones!
Imagine how much of the world you have missed because your headphones were blasting music. Take a break from the headphones and listen to what is going on around you. You will look more approachable to other people. Do you like to study with headphones in? If you’re studying in a common area, take a break from studying and from the headphones. Allow yourself and others to strike up a conversation.
Be present!
When someone is talking to you, listen. Ask questions. Be involved in the conversations. The most interesting conversations come from a place of genuine interest, not just waiting for your turn to talk.Join a club or attend a meetup to meet people with similar interests!
Star Wars fan? Comic books? Collect stamps? Chances are, there is a group of people that have the same interest. This is a great way to meet new people over a shared interest which can decrease feelings of vulnerability.
Don’t forget your confidence!
Meeting new people in unexpected places can be fun. The shy people of the world are probably shaking their heads at that statement. Self-confidence in a social situation can be the difference between networking with everyone in the room or hiding in the corner and meeting no one.What are some ways you create a open and welcoming atmosphere for your team and potential members?
